2010

So, it's been a long while since I've posted anything . . .

The truth is, I've always wanted this blog to be happy and positive. A cheerful report on what's going on in our life. Well, things aren't always happy and cheerful and positive. There are times when things are sad, negative, and rough.

I thought it's best not to write about those things. I don't want to sound depressing or needy or "poor me". Because "it could be worse you know" . . .

2009 was a really, really rough year for me, for us. I have had to face realities that I never wanted to. I have had to make decisions that I never dreamed I had to. I had to grow up, a lot, fast.

Most days, recently, I've wanted to crawl back into bed and pull up the covers. "I'll deal with it tomorrow" and just hope tomorrow would be far, far away. But I have people who love me and refuse to let me wallow or sit and collect dust.

And I have my son, my amazing little boy, who without even knowing it, gives me more strength than I even know I have . . .

Since I last posted there have been lots going on . . . here are the highlights.

Johnathan is talking up a storm. His words include:

bird "biiiirrrrr"

ball "baaaaa"

book "boooookie"

fish "ishy"

Dad "Daaa"

Mickey Mouse "Mi Ma"

Elmo "Melmo"

no "Noooo, no no no"

night-night "Ni-Ni"

cup "Cuuuu"

hi "hii"

knock-knock "na-na"

and a slew of other's that I am still learning to understand. And no, he doesn't really say Mama. When he wants me, I usually get a tug on my jeans or he just runs to me, it's okay, the message still gets across!

He can tell us when he's hungry by going to get his highchair and climbing into it. Does this count as "sign-language"? I'm not sure . . .

He loves to laugh and make me laugh. We connect through laughter and I love it. We both try to get the other to laugh throughout the day and it's wonderful. Johnathan's laugh is hearty and full and funny and perfect!

Since day care was closed for two weeks for the holidays Johnathan has been home and showing us what a fun, great kid he is. Johnathan's personality is growing and showing itself in bits and pieces. He is determined and stubborn, funny and shy. He loves to run, but doesn't want to be told where to run, he has zero concern for danger so we are always on the lookout. Johnathan loves to say "hi" and "bye-bye" throughout the day and play hide-and-seek with us. He loves to look around the house to find Daddy, who is hiding ready to jump out and "scare" Johnathan. He loves to knock on the doors, cabinets, walls, table and say "knock-knock". He loves to play with his cars and his many Elmo dolls. And he is definitely showing us that he is left handed every time he eats or throws a ball. I have loved having both of my guys home with me, it's been lots of fun!

And Jeff . . . Jeff has been my rock. He is an amazing husband and father and has been a great friend too. He hears me, listens to me, understands me, loves me . . . unconditionally, even when I'm ugly and tired and don't feel very nice . . . and what a father he is! He plays with Johnathan and comes up with fun things to do with him every day when he was home. He creates new lunch and dinner ideas for him and let's Johnathan use him as a jungle gym. I find myself feeling so thankful, on a daily basis, for Jeff and how he loves me and Johnathan.

Me? I'm hanging in there. I have good days and bad days. But what I'm really hoping for? I just want 2010 to treat me and my family well. I want to find answers instead of problems. I want new beginnings instead of slamming doors. I want happy, peaceful, enjoyable days . . . and I think if I just start looking in the right direction and start choosing to be more positive and happy, I just might find what I'm looking for.

At some point in time I will get back on track with this blog. I won't make any big promises, I still have photos from Thanksgiving on my camera (let's be honest, Halloween) . . . but I will put the blog back on my list of priorities.

Thanks, whoever still checks, for hanging in there. We are still here!